scentless apprentice

as expected, this current event really kicked me right in the gut. after several months of inducing myself with crazy, immature, unsophisticated and downright stupid decisions, i really felt so damn cloddish.

i was right on track of picking myself up, of fixing everything that went wrong, rebooting and auto correcting the shortcomings. but then, there was something that urged me to try and see, to feel and understand the wrong side of things, of doing the what ifs that have been plaguing me.. i tasted it, embraced and got addicted to it….the temporary high always got me in my weakest and as i said i got addicted that i always said yes….i felt like a sixteen year old all of a sudden..not thinking about tomorrow, of what’ll happen after..enjoying everything that life has to offer. as they say, act your age and what do people expect from a 23 year old girl…?(obviously not a woman) they expect you to be more open, understanding, mature and the worse part, loving figures and welcoming the system. i just got tired of always saying to myself its ok and spreading the goodness of things. i say when you really feel the bad side, the one that’ll really hit you, you’ll think twice of everything you did, even the things that made people remember you. (t b cont)